The internet is back!

Good afternoon, dear Readers,

Having gone for a long time (aka since my last blog post) without the internet at home, it's back. Amazing. And since I really can't blog at work - I know, trying to pretend I actually work there - we'll try again at blogging here at home.

And a brief update to the wonderful world of Debby -- maybe we need a blog name change! Will be thinking about it.

I am thinking about going back to school. And here's why: at the age of 35, I have at least 34 years until I could even think about retiring. Not that I'm the retiring type, but still. So, could I last at this job for 34 years? Doubtful. What else then? What would I like to pursue?

Now, this question really has never been one that has crossed my mind. What?! How can that be? Because I alway thought I'd be married with kids by now, and my career path would have been set ahead of me. But, alas, God has better plans and I'm holding onto that fact. Read previously posts, you'll get the picture. This whole time in Maryland, I believe, has been working me to this point -- to just let God do what he wants to do. And I'm willing to go along for the ride.

So, I'm going to try to go back to school for a doctorate in Psychology. Mind you, I'm currently taking the pre-req I missed at Florida. I still have to pass the GRE & Psych GRE. I still have to apply and be accepted. Then, if I get in, I won't start until Fall 2012. Then, I'd be in school for 5-6 years. Yeaaaa.

In the meantime, I'm still working. I'm in another production with our theatrical troupe ... May 6-8 Smokey Joe's Cafe - come see it! Young ones in my family are getting married. Trips are upcoming. And I've been hired at my church to be the Director of Hospitality (Part time for fun stuff - why not!?) Of which we are having a training class tomorrow so I should prepare. It should be an interesting year.

I hope you can see God working in my heart. To let him move and do as he chooses. For me to actually believe it. And to stop trying so hard. And to just get to living. I am bummed as my adventures are not as prevelant -- I don't have Friday's off anymore. But, will do what I can to provide you with aspects of the Debby World (please say that as you might hollar out "OUTDOOR WORLD!!!!!")

Oh, and some really cool books I've recently read:
The Help - I know, I'm behind, but it's good.
America, America - Ethan Canin - beautiful
Cutting for Stone - Abraham Verghese - I can't say enough about this book. So, so good.
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks - awesome non-fiction - Rebecca Skloot

Now reading Little Bee by Chris Cleve - will keep you posted.

With that I bid you farewell.

and glasses are back

In 2007 I had lasik eye surgery. I was certain that I was done with glasses and it was good thing as in the middle of the night I had to put my clock about 1/2 inch from my eyes.

But, on Tuesday I heard new news. I had been experiencing horrid headaches, episodes of wooziness, and stuggles with my night time driving. I headed to the doctors to make sure it wasn't a tumor ... I can hear Ahnold now ... every body together, "It's not a tumor...."

And it wasn't. It's my ability to shift from long to short vision distances quickly. And it's some elevated levels of fluid in my ears. And it's the strain on my eyes.

As my doctor said, "when we get older we have to get glasses to help us see in short distances." Are you kidding me? So, the day before my 35th birthday, guess who got to go to the grocery store to purchase reading glasses for my computer work.

Back to glasses we go, and realizing that I could actually now purchase glasses for under $200. Bonus?

Are you happy?!?

That's the question I got at church this morning.  "Are you happy?" right after my new favorite answer to, "How are you?"

"I'm upright, moving, with clothes on -- things are going pretty well!"

My answer wasn't good enough.  "No, no, I mean in your job?  How is it?  Are you happy now?"

Am I  happy now?  Well, I go to work, I work, I get paid, and I try my best.  I'm doing all right. 

"Well, do you think this job is part of God's will for you?"

Wait for it -- my head exploded.  "I don't believe any of God's children can ever be out of God's will for their life, so yes, I believe this job is part of God's will for me.  A long term career, not really sure about that.  But it's where God has called me to at this point in my life.  So, yes, I think it's part of God's will for my life."

"I suppose, but I really think his will for us is to be happy."

WHAT?!?!?  "I find that he wants us to be content not really happy.  And ps. your logic doesn't make any sense."  (I did mention the logic thing.)

And here's my favorite part: "Well, if you're not happy then you're just miserable."

Can we take a moment to breathe thru the frustration?   Ok, we can continue.  "I'm sorry, but unhappy doesn't equal miserable."

"Ok, but that's not the way I see it."

With that I grabbed another half donut and went to Sunday School.  And vowed to pray for my pastor more.

As I've been pondering this post, I realize I should give some history. My mom had these same statements for us while growing up. When I heard them again my brain started reeling.

And I should have pointed my friend at church to the cross: God's will for us is to realize our need of him and that he provides a way to know him thru Jesus. That need exists at the start, middle and end of our relationship with Jesus. In the frustration, confusion, uncertainty, excitement, pain, sorrow, and all other things that might make us question God's involvement in our lives.

It's true - I don't think we can ever be out of God's will as a Christ follower. Could it seem as though we are? Sure. But then we must see the whole picture as God does, and we realize we are right where He wants us to be. That's good news.

Next week, asking God to show up -- isn't he always showing up? And aren't our eyes often closed that we miss him?